Tearful Amber Heard Details Johnny Depp's Alleged Abuse

On Wednesday, Amber Heard took the stand in Johnny Depp’s $50-million defamation trial against her.

After sitting down, Heard told the court, “I am here because my ex-husband is suing me. I struggle to find the words to describe how painful this is. This is horrible for me to sit here for weeks and relive everything."

She added, “This is the most painful and difficult thing I've ever gone through, for sure."

At the beginning of her testimony, Heard discussed her start in Hollywood and growing up middle-class.

She eventually auditioned for the 2011 film “The Rum Diary,” and then met Depp at his office to discuss the role.

Amber described Depp as “very well-read and charismatic,” adding, “We talked about books and music, poetry. We like a lot of the same stuff. Obscure writers and interesting books and pieces of poetry I haven't heard anyone else know or reference or like.”

She even left with some books that he recommended.

Heard went on, “I knew who he was. I wasn’t a fan of his work. I wasn’t familiar with him, but I knew who he was. I knew he was one of the most famous people in the world. It was weird because he’s twice my age and this famous actor and here we are getting along about old books and the blues. I thought it was unusual and remarkable. I left there feeling like, 'Wow.'"

Heard got the role and called it “surreal” to shoot “The Rum Diary.”

“Occasionally, Johnny would talk to me,” Heard shared about life on set.

According to Amber, their dynamic changed after one pivotal scene. She said, “We had a kissing scene. It didn’t seem like a normal scene anymore. It felt more real.”

Amber claimed that Johnny used his tongue during their kissing scene, saying, “He grabbed my face and really kissed me.”

Despite them being in other relationships, Amber noted that she “felt chemistry” and was somewhat “intimidated,” claiming that things got more flirty.

When asked what kind of gifts Johnny gave her at that time, she revealed that he gifted her with guitars and a dress that she wore in the film.

They didn’t enter into a relationship until years later.

Heard revealed they decided to take it further during the “Rum Diary” press tour, asserting that Depp invited her to his room one night. She admitted, “There was an electricity to the room.”

As she was about to leave at the end of the night, Heard said Depp made a move. “He grabbed both sides of my face and he kissed me,” she said. “And I kissed him back.”

Heard noted that they “fell in love,” adding, “It was on.”

Holding back tears, she went on, “I felt like this man knew me, saw me, in a way no one else had… When I was around Johnny, I felt like the best, [most] beautiful person in the world. It made me feel seen. It made me feel like a million dollars.”

According to Amber, they started “secretly dating” in October 2011.

She admitted, “I fell head over heels over this man.”

Amber noted that Johnny was “very generous” with her family, and that her relationship with him was “always intense.”

Heard  then testified that during their first year together, Depp would disappear sometimes. She also recalled him making her feel “really dirty” to be an actress. She claimed that Depp would criticize her clothing and call her a “whore.”

Heard said things would escalate and Depp would throw things. Then, Depp would disappear and get clean and sober.

When asked if she remembered the first time he allegedly hit her, Amber said, “We were having a normal conversation. He was drinking. I didn’t realize at the time, I think he was using cocaine, a jar of cocaine. I didn’t see him use it. I didn’t factor it at the time… We’re sitting next to each other on the couch. I ask him about the tattoo on his arm. To me, it looked like black marks… That was hard to read. He said, ‘Wyno.’ I just laughed because I thought he was joking. He slapped me across the face and I laughed. I didn’t know what else to do. I thought, ‘This must be a joke.’ I just stared at him.”

Along with calling her a “b*tch,” Heard testified that Depp “slapped” her again.

“I had never been hit like that before,” Heard said. “I just stared at him because I didn’t know what to do. He slapped me one more time, hard. I lost my balance.”

Getting emotional, Amber admitted, “I didn’t want to leave him.”

According to Heard, Depp begin crying and was on his knees begging for her forgiveness, saying, “I’ll never do that again. I thought I put that monster away.”

Heard said she then left the room and went to her car. “I remember seeing my breath on the window… trying to will myself… I was heartbroken.”

They would eventually talk things out and she “believed there was a line that he wouldn’t cross again.”

Heard testified that their relationship was a roller coaster after that incident. Their love would be “velvety” at one point and then he would be “punching of the walls” over something she said or he would be accusing her of cheating, which she denied.

She said, “He’d push me; he’d shove me down and I’d get back up. When I’d get back up, I’d look him in the eye… That was my way of defending myself at that time — I look at him… Eventually, he’d just hit me. I remember he hit me in the face when I denied having an affair with my ex-wife. He said he had proof and I denied it. I was walking out of the bedroom and he slapped me across the face.”

Heard testified that Depp would scream at her and “slap her multiple times in a row.”

She said, “In 2012, he’d have a blowout and disappear… He’d come back clean and sober… He’d come back into my life… It would feel great. We’d be good again… He’d be extra nice, extra apologetic, extra loving. We’d be in the good bubble… Eventually, I’d see him drinking again. When I started to get upset, noticing the pattern of violence with the drinking and drugs, he would start sneaking it… It became less clear.”

Heard noted that Depp would be different when he was allegedly under the influence of different substances.

Heard testified that she started to confide in her mom “from the beginning” about the alleged “psychological abuse.”

Heard also discussed a photo that she sent of herself with a bruised arm to her mom in March 2013. She said, “I was reaching out and I was very lonely… I wanted help. I wanted to talk to somebody and figure out how to make this stop.”

When asked how she sustained the injury, she said, “Johnny slapped me and I walked away… I could tell he was going to hit me again. I picked up a vase and got away from him enough. He grabbed me by the arm and held me on the floor and screamed at me. I don’t remember how many times he hit me… I remember thinking, ‘How could this happen to me again?’”

Heard recalled their trip to Hicksville, California, where they planned to do mushrooms and “laughy “drugs.

Heard testified that her friend had taken MDMA and started leaning into Amber. She claimed, “As soon as she leaned into me, Johnny gets really activated. He gets upset… We agreed to go and talk about it in the trailer… By the time we get into the trailer, Johnny said I had been instigating it, that I hadn’t been honest about this woman… I remember him accusing me of lying about it. That I had something with her. He turned all that rage onto the trailer itself.”

According to Heard, Depp confronted her about hiding something, saying, “He ripped my dress… grabbing my breasts, he’s touching my thigh, he’s ripping my underwear off. He precedes to do a cavity search. He said he was looking for his drugs.”

Heard claimed that Depp would transform into “this other thing,” saying that his security would have to clean up after him when he would “lose control.”

Heard revealed that she met his kids at the premiere of “The Lone Ranger” at Disneyland in June 2013. She said, “I was dying to meet them. I felt like I already knew them.”

She called her decision to do MDMA with Depp on a plane “stupid,” saying, “We took MDMA. I took a capsule and Johnny took several and I didn’t count… Nothing seemed to set any alarm bells off. Things were going fine until the flight attendant got involved… He offered her some. Johnny convinced her it would be fine… She took some with us. Within a few minutes… the same thing happened… the flight attendant got MDMA-friendly. She was naturally more comfortable with me. Johnny grabs her arm and tells her not to touch me… He grabbed her wrist and slammed it on the table and he could break her wrist... That was a pattern that would repeat itself.”

Heard says the flight attendant cried and apologized before going back to the front of the plane.

Amber recalled defending herself after the incident. She claimed, “Johnny just shoves me… At some point, Johnny whacks me in the face… I remember crying. I remember we had been arguing.”

Heard claimed that she had “a little blood” coming out of her nose.

She said, “As embarrassing as it was, I remember just wanting Johnny to say sorry. I wanted him to acknowledge that he could hurt me. I didn’t want him to think I would cheat on him with this flight attendant.”