"The View" co-host Meghan McCain is opening up in a New York Times opinion piece about suffering a miscarriage.
Writing that she lost her baby "a few weeks ago," McCain describes posing for photos to promote "The View," all the while "hiding [my] shock and sorrow. I am posed for the camera, looking stern and strong, representing my fellow conservative women across the country. But inside, I am dying. Inside, my baby is dying."
McCain writes poignantly, "I knew I was pregnant before I formally knew I was pregnant. My body told me in all the ways women are familiar with. It told me in the same ways that I was miscarrying." She found out she was losing her baby the day of the shoot.
McCain, who wished to keep her ordeal private, decided to go public because of how common it is to lose a baby, and how often this loss is dismissed, unacknowledged.
"I am not hiding anymore," she writes. "My miscarriage was a horrendous experience and I would not wish it upon anyone."
McCain also writes about feeling guilt over her high-stress job, but ultimately deciding, "Yet it is not my fault. Fault and blame are not at work here."
Referencing her late father, Sen. John McCain, who died in August of last year, she closes with her vision of "the hereafter," envisioning it as a place where she will say, "There is my father — and he is holding his granddaughter in his hands."