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Tiger Woods Wished He Met Mistress Before Wife

Rachel Uchitel didn't know about Tiger Woods' many mistresses

Tiger Woods' affair with Rachel Uchitel wasn't just a fling.

The married golfer lamented that he wished he'd met Uchitel, a VIP club hostess, before his wife, Elin Nordegren, according to explosive new e-mails obtained by In Touch.

See photos of the 11 women Tiger has been linked to

Woods wrote in an email, "I know it's brutal on you that you can't be with me all the time. I get it. It f***ing kills me, too. I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home. You want someone to witness your life. I want you to lay next to me, lay on me or where ever you want to lay. F***. Why didn't we find each other years ago. We wouldn't be having this conversation."

When Uchitel responded that she didn't want to discuss their relationship via e-mail, Woods wrote back, "You don't have to answer that e-mail. I just wanted you to know what's going on inside me."

Woods also questions if Uchitel was only sleeping with him because he's famous. (She's also been linked to David Boreanaz and Derek Jeter.)

"I don't know if this is going to work," Woods wrote in a separate e-mail. "I thought I was getting to know you, but it feels like I'm just another person who happens to be famous. Every time I think about it, I get a lump in my throat. Some of the other parts of your past really get to me. I don't know what person I was falling for so hard. The one I got to know on the phone, e-mail, text and in person. Or the one who likes famous people. I am so confused, because what my brain is saying and what my heart is saying are two different things. Is it the Rachel I know or the character? That's what's hard. It guts me to think I've fallen for the wrong one."

Woods and Nordegren were fighting about his affair with Uchitel before his controversial Nov. 27 car crash.

The daughter of Uchitel's lawyer claimed that Uchitel received "at least a million dollars" from Woods' camp to keep quiet about their relationship.