Selma Blair Says She Attempted Suicide While Struggling with Health Prior to MS Diagnosis

Selma Blair is opening up in the May issue of British Vogue about her multiple suicide attempts while struggling with her health.

At the time, she didn’t know she had multiple sclerosis and was trying to cope with the symptoms as well as anxiety.

In a video segment, she shared, “I had my diagnosis 40 years after getting it, so I lived with it, but I was not believed or treated. And so I had a lifetime of anger and addiction. Finding the diagnosis, the pain, and the confusion and mobility and tics and things were now understood and I could stand myself.”

In a print interview, she continued, “I looked like a ‘normal’ girl to them,” explaining “but I was Disabled this whole time.”

Reflecting on living without a diagnosis, she said, “As an adult, the lassitude and anxiety became terrifying, actually. I made mistakes. Wished myself dead. Attempted suicide. A few times. Out of desperation.”

She self-medicated to get through work. “Sets were excruciating sometimes with the exhaustion and the tics. I took benzos and Klonopin,” she said, noting, “I didn't abuse those things, just alcohol. But I was lost and sad and could hardly ever smile. Hence my roles, I imagine.”

Selma was stressed about losing out on work, saying, “I was worried since the beginning of time that a glaring fault would remove me from the workforce. And usually it was my incoordination or getting stuck, too weak or sick, in my trailer — or any time, really. The vomiting or body issues were terrifying, [and the] baldness or rashes.”

Looking back, she said, “I remember being very, very poorly on ‘Hellboy’ and was diagnosed with cat scratch fever and possible leukemia in Prague. I couldn’t tell anybody. I couldn’t admit alcoholism or [access] treatment in my insurance for fear I’d be deemed an insurance risk. I fell apart once I got back to L.A.”

She largely stopped working after making the TV show “Kath & Kim” in 2009.

“My autoimmune system was misfiring… losing most of my hair and all of my energy. I kinda bowed out [after the show]. It was a French exit and everybody else stayed at the party… My self-hatred was extreme. I could not manage well and I couldn’t even try to find work… It was a running joke. How far was the audition? How many naps would I fit in on the side of the road before and after? [When I quit acting] I spent my days in bed, crying, sometimes binge drinking, sometimes reading and sleeping, seeing doctors and healers… I gave up almost until the diagnosis. I was always terrified I would be deemed incapable. Or mentally unsound. My mother taught me that was death for a woman career-wise.”

The actress is doing much better these days. She went into remission from MS after receiving a hematopoietic stem cell transplant in 2019, but still has some symptoms.

In recent years, Blair released the doc “Introducing Selma Blair” and a memoir called “Mean Baby.” She also competed on “Dancing with the Stars,” before dropping out due to health reasons.

Now, she tells British Vogue, “I’m a single mom. With two dogs and two horses, one of which I am dying to have some consistent weeks, body-wise, to really try to ride again. I stay inside on sunny days if I can. The sun is my kryptonite: it still triggers extreme weakness and lethargy. By evening I come alive, though I do not yet have a social night life… Who does?”

Selma’s interview is part of British Vogue’s landmark “Reframing Fashion” issue. Other cover stars include Sinéad Burke, Aaron Rose Philip, Ellie Goldstein and Justina Miles.

See the full feature in the May issue of British Vogue available via digital download and on newsstands from Tuesday April 25.