Tips for Parents to Maintain Harmony & Connection Within the Family

With back-to-school season here and the holiday season fast approaching, author and parenting coach Katherine Sellery is sharing tips to help families maintain mindfulness amid busy schedules.

One of the first and best things parents can do is to establish a routine for their children, according to Sellery, founder of the Conscious Parenting Revolution and one of the creators of the Guidance Approach to Parenting.

"Children thrive on structure, because it helps them anticipate and prepare for what’s going to happen next. A routine can give your kids something to count on in an increasingly unpredictable world — even if it’s just knowing that bathtime happens at 7 p.m. every night," Sellery said.

Consistent routines also help children build healthy habits for maintaining a healthy body and bonding with family, and gaining the ability to plan ahead and cope with stress, Sellery said.

"As kids grow older, it’s crucial that they learn how to cope with stressful situations and difficult transitions. If your child knows that no matter what happens, they have their routine and habits to fall back on — they’ll feel healthy, safe, and secure," Sellery said.

For kids with anxieties about school, it's important for parents to help them talk about it.

"Worries and fears always seem bigger and scarier when you don’t talk about them," Sellery said. "Resist the urge to downplay or dismiss your kids’ fears. The thing that helps the most is acknowledging whatever it is that is coming up so that they feel really seen, heard and understood by you."

The Conscious Parenting Revolution focuses on effective and compassionate communication, Sellery said.

"We repair family relationships by teaching parents and children methods and tools for listening with love and speaking from the heart," she said.

The principles of conscious parenting can help parents avoid unconsciously repeating the mistakes of their own parents, who were often well-intentioned themselves, Sellery said.

"Parents often forget that their kids have their own quirks, preferences, and boundaries, which might conflict with the parents’ way of doing things! Your task isn’t to raise a clone of yourself, but to help your child grow and develop into the unique individual that they are," Sellery said.

To do that, it's important to "listen with love," even when voices are raised, and to build them up rather than tearing them down. It's also important for parents to be flexible, and explain their reasoning for rules and boundaries, rather than falling back on "because I said so."

For parents who foresee difficulty managing family dynamics around the holidays, or maintaining their conscious parenting style in front of potentially judgmental extended family, Sellery offered tips for preparing children.

"Feeling the watchful eyes of parents, in-laws, and extended family is sure to make even the most confident parents nervous," Sellery said.

"But their judgment doesn’t mean you should feel ashamed of your parenting style. In fact, now is a great time to talk to your children about different parenting styles and why you parent them the way you do. This conversation will help ensure that another family member’s disciplinary style doesn’t undo the work you’ve put in to consciously parent your children," Sellery said.

"You can’t control the actions or opinions of others, but you can prepare yourself and your kids to respond appropriately," Sellery said.