Raquel Leviss Speaks with Bethenny Frankel in First Interview Since Scandoval Erupted!

“Vanderpump Rules” star Raquel Leviss — now going by her given name Rachel — is returning from her own self-imposed exile from the spotlight in her first interview since Scandoval erupted.

Leviss infamously had an affair with Tom Sandoval while he was still in a relationship with Ariana Madix.

The drama dominated the headlines, and now she’s opening up on the “ReWives with Bethenny Frankel” podcast, saying the person she saw on TV was “out of character from who I truly am.”

She said of the scandal, “I feel like I just got caught up in something that is way too big for me to handle and I’m just trying to survive. So I don’t know who people should hate. That’s up to their discretion.”

Leviss said of Tom, “I now look back on it and see that I was not in love with him. I also don’t believe that he truly was in love with me either.”

The reality star went on, “I felt seen and heard by him. I haven’t really had that connection with other people in the cast, nor people in my real life. I was filming in a tumultuous environment. I was needing some validation and somebody to hear what I was going through. Here comes along Tom who really gave me that time of day to share my side of the story in a non-judgment zone. That’s exactly what I needed in that moment.”

At one point, she also shared, “I do want to take a moment to just acknowledge the hurt that I brought to a lot of people. I was not careful in my actions and I was not thinking long-term. I was completely wrapped up in heartbreak and wanting to get certain needs met. Looking back now, I can see that I was still healing from a relationship from somebody that I thought I was going to marry and ending that I still haven’t healed that. So when I was filming I was drinking a lot to ease that anxiety and in a reality TV environment I wasn’t getting that safe space to express my emotions in a healthy way.”

Frankel pointed out that the “VPR” environment seems to “celebrate affairs and scandals,” and Rachel replied, “Yeah, and with the cast, it's almost been normalized in a way and so as I'm looking up to my fellow cast members and seeing them as role models and like how to make a good reality TV show because I want to do my job well… it’s uncanny to see the hate that this specific affair brought up in people, when almost every single one of the cast members have been in an affair.”

While Rachel was gone, Ariana went to work, cashing in on public appearances.

Leviss shared her reaction, saying, “Part of me says, good for you, because take advantage of these opportunities while they come your way, but it is hurtful to me just to think that my nature is very kind and forgiving and understanding of other people. So the concept of me being the ultimate reality TV villain just blows my mind and the way that she spoke to me at the reunion.”

Does she think Ariana will ever forgive her? “I don't expect her to forgive me,” Leviss said. “I think once trust is broken with somebody from personal experience, it's really hard to come back from that.”

As for how she’s doing now, Rachel said, I’m okay. I'm hanging in there. It's been a whirlwind. It's been chaos, but I've taken some time to myself to reflect and try to understand my actions, and I've finally have come to the place where it makes sense to me.”

After being skewered on the “Vanderpump Rules” reunion, Leviss disappeared while seeking help at a treatment facility.

Now, she tells Bethenny, “My goal was to get down to the bottom of why I am choosing men who are unavailable. Why do I keep finding myself in unhealthy relationships. What do I need to change about my behavior. Knowing that I needed to make a change I first needed to know what leads to those behaviors.”