Sophia Bush 'Shattered' by Ex-Boyfriend Dan Fredinburg's Death

"Chicago PD" actress Sophia Bush opens up in the September issue of Health magazine, discussing the death of ex-boyfriend, inventor and entrepreneur Dan Fredinburg.

After they broke up in August last year, Sophia and Dan managed to remain close friends until his untimely death at age 33 last April in a Mount Everest avalanche. The loss had a profound effect on Sophia.

“Losing one of my best friends a few months ago shattered me. There were days I felt like my body had been turned inside out. I felt like my heart was on the outside of my body and everyone who came near me was stabbing me. And the crazy thing is that since Dan died, the lessons have come like Mack trucks. There is no next time. There is no excuse to wait a day to do what you want to do and to change the way that you want to change.”

[Credit: Matt Jones/Health]
Sophia also revealed what her biggest dreams are now. “I always wanted to save the world. My parents thought it was sweet and that I'd outgrow it — and I never did!”

Sophia has wonderful dreams for the world, but she admits to also having fears of not measuring up. “The word enough is a monster for me. I don't know how anyone ever feels that they are enough: successful enough, smart enough, pretty enough, healthy enough. I got so scared the first time I decided to say, 'I am terrified of not being enough.' And what came back tenfold — women who identify, women who sympathize and women who experience all of that — was mind-boggling to me. We are so in this together. And that helps. A friend said to me, 'Let it be enough, whatever you did today. You went on a two-mile run and you didn't do a circuit-training workout? Who cares? Let it be enough.'”

[Credit: Matt Jones/Health]

Bush, 33, says she is more in tune with herself than ever before. "I don't think I just trust every single person anymore. I'm really coming into myself. There's something about 33. You know, it's one of those sort of sacred years. Thirty was amazing, and 33 is really only getting better. I feel much more rooted. I've learned how to listen to my intuition. My heart still feels open and I'm still madly in love with the world, but I understand very quickly how to read a person's energy and how to better protect my own."