But she feels the show did not end their marriage.
"Had we never done the show, we would have been struggling ... and that would've gotten the best of us," she said.
But she feels like filing for divorce means she failed.
"I've never quit anything in my life," she said. "Our goals just very much changed ... I just think somewhere along the lines his goals changed, and they felt detrimental to me and the kids."
As for who initiated the split, Kate says it was a "mutually agreed upon thing."
Even though she admits Jon "was not happy" staying home with the kids while she traveled promoting the show and her books, she doesn't have sympathy for him.
"I think once you become a parent, it's too late to worry about what should've, could've, would've been done," she said. "I was very hard on him and I would never deny that. I felt very much like a lot of weight rested on my shoulders."
She admits she emasculated Jon, 32, "to a degree."
"I was wrong to treat him that way. Was it good, healthy and wonderful? No. Am I proud of those moments that were captured? No," she says.
Kate thinks Jon was out of bounds for suggesting she had an affair with her bodyguard, Steve Neild, whom she argues she travels with for safety.
"People have a lot of contempt and hate for me and at the end of the day, I need to come home safely to my kids," she says.
"One day it suited his needs to take the spotlight off his bad behavior and turn it on me," she explains as to why Jon alleged infidelity.
Still, Kate says she'll "always" love Jon.
"I still wake up every day, and I think the phone will ring, and it will be the old Jon," she said. "It's hard to be married to somebody for 10 years and try to say, 'No, I don't love them anymore.' I love the memories we have together, the good times."
She went on, "I would love to get to point where he can put his anger aside ... The anger in me isn't as raw as it once was. I would love to get to a point that we can converse like two adults. I am sure we will get there."