Kate Gosselin breaks down in tears when explaining her split from Jon in an interview with NBC's Natalie Morales to air Monday night on TLC.
"Things got really bad," Kate, 34, tells Morales in the "Kate: Her Story" special, adding that she wasn't even speaking to Jon "at times" as their marriage deteriorated.
On reports of infidelity, Kate says, "I remember thinking, 'We're not going to recover from this.'"
Kate admits she's "awake in the middle of the night, thinking, 'Am I making the best decision?'" for her eight kids.
She also says she tends "not to trust people" anymore.
Morales said on the "Today" show Monday morning that Kate will also discuss how her children are reacting to their parents' very public divorce battle.
"Some of the kids are starting to show sign of stress, becoming more introverted and shy," Morales told Meredith Vieira.
Morales says that Kate is "looking forward to 2010" when the divorce "is supposed to be finalized."
On Monday night's show, Kate will also deny that she had an affair with her bodyguard Steve Neild, as Jon has alleged, and will discuss what Jon did that "made her most angry."
In October 2009, Kate said, “I'm saddened and confused by Jon's public media statements.”
“It appears that Jon's priority is Jon and his interests. My priority remains our children and their well-being.”
“We film it separately,” Jon admitted. "She has her film crew. And I have my film crew.
In September 2009 Jon said, “I can't sit on the sofa with that woman. I can't sit on the couch next to someone I despise… I despise her because she's not speaking from the heart.”
“While I certainly have a very different perception of how our marriage dissolved, for the sake of my children I maintain that I'm not going to go into details of aspects I believe should remain private.” Kate's statement to ABC regarding how she feels about revealing her personal life with Jon.
I Used to Have a Ring on It
Jon also slams his ex for using her wedding ring. “I think she still wears the ring for public perception,” he said. “I don't wear my ring because she took my ring. I don't have it.” Jon added, "So I laid it down one night. It was gone.
Jon revealed on “Good Morning America” that their marriage “will never be fixed.”
“I didn't leave Kate for Hailey. People think I left Kate for Hailey… because of the time frame and what they printed in the tabloids. You can't control who you love. I strongly believe that. You cannot control that. It's two people joined together.”
Jon admits in a September interview with ABC that he will always “love Kate as the mother of my kids. But to tell you right now, at this point of what's going on, I do not love Kate.”
After being photographed with a few different females in the media, Jon had this to say, “Like most people, I have male and female friends and I'm not going to end my friendships just because I'm on TV.”
Jon tells TLC's cameras “People think I've changed, and I have changed, but I'm now the person I know I am.”
“I don't trust her anymore,” Jon tells reporter Chris Cuomo of ABC. “I was abused… I'm not going back to that lifestyle.”
Kate told CBS in an interview, “He does not want to be married to me anymore.” Kate said it was not she who initiated the divorce.
In an interview with ABC, Jon said, “Well, excuse me, I'm taking care of the kids. She's on book tours, she's doing all these things. You know, she's gone a week. You know, comes back. Packs up and leaves again. I'm standing there like, 'Oh, OK. Your mom's gone again…”
Kate told CBS cameras, “This is a situation that absolutely would have happened whether the cameras were here or not. I don't want people thinking we traded marriage for fame. Ever.”
In an ABC interview, Jon said Kate deliberately “separated” him from his mother and brothers."
Jon said, “I was beaten down so long, I couldn't even make a decision for myself.”
Jon says Hailey Glassman, daughter of Kate's plastic surgeon, is someone he loves more than he did Kate — and that she shows him “love and respect” as Kate never did.
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